Between Joy and Grief, He is with Us

We asked a dear friend of Abide, Lesley Koehn, to give us a journal entry for all of you. Her husband Brian responded instead. And then surprisingly we received an entry from Lesley as well. Brian and Lesley Koehn have been board members at Abide for nearly 30 years. Together, they have journeyed through life’s highs and lows, especially this past year. Today, they both share honestly from a place of loss, inviting God into every moment in between through words and art that offer peace, hope, and love.

Hi, my name is Brian Koehn. I’m married to Lesley. We have been board members for Abide Ministries since it first began. Lesley was invited to write the devotional for Abide this month, but then her beloved dog, Sabre, died two days ago and I don’t think she will be writing anything for anyone anytime soon. She got Sabre 12 years ago when the third and last of our children left home. We were told he was a Beauceron, a prestigious French shepherd, but he looks, I guess I mean “looked”, suspiciously like a half black lab / half rottweiler. Anyway, Lesley loved that dog with all her heart and he loved her back even more so. As jealous as I was for how much attention he got, I had to admit that his love was far more selfless than mine.

Some might think it silly to think that a pet can remind us of how much God loves us, but I think that all of creation is trying to remind us of that — all of the time. I look at the birds feeding outside my window even on windy days well below freezing. Some of them don’t even weigh half an ounce. How on earth do they eat enough food to power their flight and keep their blood from freezing. Jesus told us to look at the birds and be reminded of how our heavenly Father loves us.

This season we remember and celebrate that God entered this world. But I think God wants to enter so much more than that. The Bible says that Jesus stands at the door and knocks to see if anyone will let Him come in and eat with them.  It’s like God is conducting 8,262,673,519 experiments simultaneously.  How much will this person let me enter into this moment? 

…this moment of joy.   

….this moment of grief.  

….this moment of amazement. 

 ….this moment of connection. 

 ….this moment of isolation.  

….this moment and every moment that follows.

As you celebrate that God entered the world so that he could be with us (2025 years ago) and we could be with him (forever), may you also let him enter every moment in between.

Brian Koehn (Abide Board Member)

Dear Reader:

This has been a hard year for me. I spent the first part of the year caring for my Dad as he withered away from the last stages of metastatic melanoma The day he left this world forever changed my life. I remain haunted by his last days in bed. Every morning I long to wake up in a world in which he still exists. 

Then just last week my sweet dog who watched my every move and followed my every step for the past 12 years left this world for the next. I can’t find the words for all this grief. My journal is marked by blank pages.

This Advent season I’ve chosen to meditate on art and fewer words. I saw this image of Joseph by Matt Chinworth and kept coming back to it. I didn’t know why until this morning when the words suddenly gurgled out on my blank page.

Sending peace to you all in whatever space you find yourself. And for those who are grieving, my heart is with you…. I hug you and pray the embrace of the Prince of Peace be with you, dear sister, dear brother. 

Love,

Lesley Koehn (Abide Board Member)